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The comments about the space shuttle encountering bird strikes remind me of
a true incident that occurred just after the demise of the Soviet Union.
The Russians were experiencing dreadful bird-strike problems as their
aircraft plied the vast distances of the Russian Motherland. A US Airforce
colonel heard about the problems and, in the spirit of post-Cold War
reconciliation, he contacted his Russian counterpart and said, "Ivan, we had
similar problems, so we built a chicken-firing canon and fired a dead chicken at
a parked airplane. Then, when we analysed the resulting damage, we were able to
modify the design of our airplanes in order to minimise bird-strike damage.
Ivan, would you like a loan of our chicken-firing canon?"
"Yes, please," the Russian replied.
So, the Russians loaded the canon and fired a dead chicken at a parked
aircraft. Disaster! The chicken smashed through the windshield of the plane,
hurtled along and emerged at the rear of the aircraft leaving a smoking, gaping
hole in the fuselage. The Russian officer reported his tale of woe to his
American mentor.
The USAF colonel listened patiently and replied, "Say, it looks like you
guys did everything by the book, except for one minor, but very important point.
Now, listen-up, Ivan, next time you load a chicken into the chicken-firing
canon, for Christsakes make sure you thaw the Goddamed chicken!"
I know some more stories like that, but I had better leave now.
John K. Layton.
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