birding-aus

The Penguins are coming

To: Birding Aus <>
Subject: The Penguins are coming
From: Alistair Stewart <>
Date: Fri, 17 May 2002 15:14:19 +1100
A recent article in our student newspaper provided some new insights 
into the lives of penguins :)
Enjoy,
Al Stewart

Lots Wife, Volume XLII, Edition 4
Johnny More

The Penguins Are Coming
On wednesday 20th March 2002 on page 9 of The Herald Sun news pictorial 
an article stated that a giant iceberg has broken off the coast of 
Antarctica, it's size predicted to be from Melbourne to Geelong and 
Ballarat. Scientists naming it B-22, beliving that global warming had 
triggered its detatchment. This may seem like no big deal but I insits 
it's a matter of national security. That was no global warming out 
there. The penguins are coming.

Unknown to those scientists was the tiny fact that Antarctic penguins 
are planning an invasion of our land Australia. B-22 is really a giant 
naval base for the penguin colonies of Antarctica and is slowly but 
surely heading for our shores. For years penguins have been prcticing 
military manoeuvres here on Phillip Island and preparing for a small 
ground assault. Stock piling ammunition, supplies and heavy machinery 
huge underground networks, reminicent of the Viet Cong in Vietnam in 
preparation for that day. And that day has come.

Using fine chiselling instruments and sawing technology the penguis have 
detatched their giant, floating naval base off Antarctica and are 
heading our way. Soon B-22 will be on our coast and while all the fun 
tourists will say "ooh how pretty" like the Horse of Troy they will 
emere and invade! Hidden inside this iceberge of death are millions of 
penguins with tiny weapons of war attatched to their flippers. Missiles 
and rcket launchers on their backs. Not to mention machines of 
distruction. Submersable tanks and hovercrafts armed with machine guns.

Be aware P-day is upon us! Hide you children! No, better yet take them 
to the northern hemisphere. There is no-where to hide! There will be no 
survivors! The penguins are coming!





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