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birding-aus Profane Parrots

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Subject: birding-aus Profane Parrots
From: (Syd Curtis)
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 1999 06:59:14 +1000
WARNING!!!   Anyone who feels that only serious messages should be posted
to birding-aus should delete this message now.

I don't know of any facility in Perth that cares for birds speaking
profanity, but this story came to me from Perth.

A gentle elderly lady consulted her Doctor who diagnosed that she was
suffering from stress following the recent loss of her husband.  Rather
than put her on drugs he counselled her to get a pet.  This would help
relieve her loneliness and in caring for the pet she would be healing
herself.

She does her shopping for food, including a dressed chook to cook for the
weekend, and then visits the pet shop.  None of the puppies, kittens, etc.,
appeal to her and she's doubtful of buying any pet when she happens to see
a parrot in a cage at the back of the shop.  Something about it takes her
fancy and she decides to buy it.

But the pet-shop owner doesn't want to sell it to her.  Explains that it's
a talking parrot but it speaks the most vile profanity and indecency.  She
insists that she wants the parrot.  The owner says that he's sold it twice
before and each time it has been brought back and he's had to refund the
money.  She still insists.  "All right," says the owner, "I'll sell it to
you, but only on the clear understanding that I won't take it back under
any circumstances."

The lady buys the parrot and goes home.  She puts the chook in the freezer
and hangs the parrot's cage up.  The parrot says nothing, and for the rest
of the day and all is well ... until the lady is going to bed.  She
remembers the parrot and in her nightgown goes to put a dark cloth over its
cage.  The parrot lets go with the most vile abuse imaginable.  But the
lady has had all day to think about this problem and she has a plan.

She immediately grabs the parrot and shoves it in the freezer.  Half an
hour later she takes out a half-dead, shivering parrot.

Lady:   "Well, have you learnt your lesson?"

Shivering Parrot: "Yeeeesss."

L.:   "You'll never speak like that again?

S.P.: "Nooo.   Buutt, teeelll mmee, whaaat diiiddd the chooookk do wrong?"

                        ********************

Cheers

Syd

H Syd Curtis



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