Avian irritation

Subject: Avian irritation
From: "Ron" <>
Date: Sun, 29 Jun 1997 19:21:11 +1000
Recently I came across the following in the Brisbane Courier Mail 
dated 23/6/97.
"When are the authorities going to do something about the crow menace 
?  These air-borne bullies,predators and disease-carriers have 
increased with the urban sprawl. Noise abatement laws allow for 
prosecution of humans for disturbing the peace before 7am. Crows wake 
up neighbourhoods as early 4.30am in summer with impunity.It seems 
they're protected and council and government officers whom I have 
approached on the matter say, with a yawn, that there's nothing they 
can do about it. 
John Pullinger ,Carina."

!Bampot ! thought I, disposing the newspaper in the bin ( re 
cyclicable section ) Perhaps its getting close to the 1st April..

Struth and shiver me timbers etc. On the Saturday 28/6/97 yet an 
other letter in a similar vein appeared in the Courier ,as follows.

"Crow ! They are the rats on the wing ,vermin of the air , a health 
Britain, Japan and Russia have organized " rook shoots " to reduce 
the explosive growth of this infernal bird in their cities . Why not 
here in Brisbane ? No time is wasted getting the council rat men out 
to get rid of the rodent from under the house . We toss canetoads in 
the bin by the bucket-load and lobby to hush the rowdy hound yet 
do-gooders with a couple of letters after their name wax lyrical on 
the benefits of having the equivalent of 40 rabid dogs baying from 
the blue gums, sun-up until sundown.
Corvus Orru and Coronoides drive other birds out of their territory 
and eat the young and eggs. Crows don't clean up road kills in 
suburbia, as is widely believed . they feed too well on urban 
flotsam-jetsam . The many wheels on the road and cats in our parks 
dispense with carrion before the crow gets a sniff.
Why do I say that crows are a health hazard ( the irritating, 
piercing bark as noise pollution not withstanding ) ? The blasted 
pests have me arrested , fined , nearly jailed ,poisoned and 
hospitalized - that's why !
Nearly shot a bloke in the park in pursuit of the dreaded crow 
.Skipped two slugs past his toes; Left the shotee and the idiotic 
shooter a shattered wreck for week. The ensuing police visitation 
impressed the family no end. The magistrate seriously tightened my 
collar for a bit.
Deadly hemlock was sought and secured. Had the crow well and truly 
measured this time.About to claim victory when alas inadvertently 
poisoned self while washing hands. A over Z , and next thing it's 
intensive care with beeping boxes and tubes everywhere. Mum 
confiscates poison . ( Mum should have him drink remainder, perhaps 
But can't you see ? I'm a public nuisance because of the Crow. They're 
sending me blinking mental. Come on council folk. A metaphorical.rook 
rook shoot is overdue. Plant plenty of trees, sure but crowless trees 
, please , because I'm damn near completely out of mine and someone 
has pinched my shanghai.

R.K. Banfield, Wavell Heights."

Just what is going on . I know I'm from the country but is there 
something going on I should know about.
Is this something cooked up by members of birding-aus to see if there 
is anyone out there ?
Has the colouration of the said bird have anything to do with the 
resentment ( bear in mind recent changes in expected political 
correctness ) ?
Have members of the Koel, Channel-billed cuckoo, Noisy friarbird, 
Magpies and perhaps even the less than subtle 
Kookaburra tribe concocted a fiendish plot to get rid of the 
opposition.? Almost certainly they would be familiar with the sunday 
names of the crows and ravens.
Is it, perhaps,.a.desperate ploy of the frustrated gun lobby ?
An indication of the general shortage of good second hand brains, 
perhaps ?
Should the council try some " No Crow singing allowed " signs ?
Would the Greatest hits of Tiny Tim, played from the rear of a council 
van at full blast, just as the blasted bird began the dawn choir 
practice help .
Any way it beats me 
peace to all the little feathered songsters and happy birding .

Ron Hughes
Ron Hughes 
Brisbane +1000
Queensland, Australia

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